Trigger Warning: this essay discusses sexual harassment allegations.
[Full disclosure: I am Facebook friends with Elizabeth Croydon and several of Shahid Buttar’s public supporters. I am friends or acquainted with several of them in real life.]
In July, allegations of sexual harassment and mistreatment of female workers against Pelosi challenger Shahid Buttar rocked Progressive politics.1 2 The San Francisco chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America, DSOC, had previously endorsed Shahid Buttar. They will vote on rescinding that endorsement on Aug. 4. Many high profile Progressives have signed a letter of “complete support for Shahid Buttar”.3The letter claims that an accuser has a troubled past and a history of false accusations. (The accuser, Elizabeth Croydon, says she has been sexually harassed and assaulted by several people. This experience is typical for many women.)
Elizabeth Croydon wrote a Medium article in early July, alleging that Shahid Buttar had sexually harassed her on several occasions in Washington DC.4 She says there were witnesses to at least one incident. Inspired by Elizabeth Croydon’s article, almost a dozen ex-campaign workers went public with their claims of sexist misbehavior by Shahid Buttar. The ex-workers include alleged victims and male witnesses who quit in solidarity. This essay explains why people respond to abuse allegations in harmful ways, results of their responses, and a way forward. It is not about the claims against Shahid Buttar and their merit. It is not about Shahid Buttar. It is about the behavior of the supporters who signed the letter, Tweeted, and commented on articles about the allegations.
Commenting on Elizabeth Croydon’s article, a well known SF Bay Area activist questioned the validity of calling sexual harassment part of “rape culture.” Rape culture includes all aspects of sexual violence, from physical assault to using words to humiliate people sexually. It is rooted in dominance, whether expressed by words or physical means. Rape culture includes those supporters of the accused who enable sexual violence and harassment. They vilify alleged victims and praise the accused. Supporters do this not because of the guilt or innocence of the accused, but for other reasons. They may not be aware of these reasons.
Folks rarely want to admit they liked and admired someone who might have mistreated women. The accuser, in their minds, must be lying. Otherwise, they were taken in by an abuser. They can’t trust their judgment. The victims of a con artist usually do not want to admit it, either. We call this reaction denial, which enables abuse. Others may think they are protecting the community. They believe admitting to a leader’s misdeeds makes the party look bad. If the incidents cannot be completely covered up, supporters may minimize them. According to comments by Shahid Buttar’s supporters, shouting at and disparaging workers is his management style and not abuse. These comments are on the articles footnoted and on a couple of Twitter threads.5 6
Often supporters are invested in the accused’s success. In this case, some of the Progressives who signed the testimonial letter have spent years working to develop Shahid Buttar as a leader. They have formed personal and professional relationships with him, mentored him, etc. They will lose their investments of time, emotion, money, and political capital if he drops out of politics. They will lose face for defending him if he loses his DSOC endorsement. He may not be able to repay political favors.
In work settings, if the alleged abuser is more valuable to the group than an accuser with lower status, the abuser is protected. Thus Human Resources fires the assistant who complains of sexual harassment and keeps the accused executive who brings in millions. Some Progressive commenters believe that if the allegations are true, it is pragmatic to keep Shahid Buttar so he can defeat Pelosi. They believe in his candidacy. The candidate is more valuable than campaign workers.
Using the acronym DARVO, psychology professor Jennifer Freyd has identified five ways accused sex offenders protect themselves and silence victims.7 Shahid Buttar is not using DARVO tactics against his accusers, as far as I know. Unfortunately, some of his supporters are using DARVO.
Deny. Supporters categorically deny Elizabeth Croydon’s accusations in their open letter of support. Elsewhere they deny the ex-workers’ claims of abuse.
Attack. The attacks on Elizabeth Croydon are highly personal and will make future victims afraid to come forward lest they suffer her fate. In their comments, Shahid Buttar’s supporters call the other alleged victims and witnesses disgruntled ex-employees and bad at their jobs. Supporters call the ex-workers snowflakes for objecting to the so-called normal behavior of being shouted at and disparaged in front of co-workers (minimizing the alleged abuse). Speculation that Nancy Pelosi paid them to lie about Shahid Buttar paints them as untrustworthy. They are called racist for complaining about the alleged behavior of Shahid Buttar, a Brown person. These attacks will make it difficult for them to find employment. Future victims will be afraid to come forward as they want to be able to work.
Reverse the roles of victim and abuser. Shahid Buttar is now the victim.
Victim. Shahid Buttar is the victim of an unstable woman who needs help (Elizabeth Croydon), a bunch of disgruntled, incompetent ex-employees, and Nancy Pelosi.
Offender. Elizabeth Croydon and possibly Nancy Pelosi are the offenders here. The ex-workers are also to blame. The main focus is on Elizabeth Croydon because she seems to be the easiest to discredit. Her claims are more serious. Witnesses have not backed up her story yet, as far as I know. In contrast, the witnesses for the women workers have already spoken. Nancy Pelosi’s involvement is only a conspiracy theory.
Going forward, we have to create a paradigm of respect for everyone, including female employees. Workers have to know they are safe to come forward with allegations. We must stop disparaging alleged victims, even if we love and respect the accused person. Unlike the letter signatories, we should never state that a person couldn’t be abusive based on our relationship with them. Countless friends and relatives of rapists or murderers say the same thing — right up to the confession. Think about how much it must hurt to hear one’s abuser praised. Until all the facts are in, don’t give testimonials for alleged abusers. Of all the Twitter comments on the subject, my favorite comes from “Friendly Neighborhood Commie:”
“I’d like to remind all my leftist friends that even though we all like Shahid, we still have to remain dispassionate and impartial, we shouldn’t automatically jump to discredit the accuser just because Shahid shares our politics.”
No one should be able to sexually harass with impunity. Leaders who abuse power in small things are future despots. Shahid Buttar may be entirely blameless, but too many others are not. Progressive political groups must become transparent and accountable. Lastly, organizers must learn about and practice institutional courage.
Note
If you are a survivor of sexual violence, it is not your fault. http://rainn.org can help with free, confidential, 24 hr. Hotlines and online peer counseling.
2https://theintercept.com/2020/07/23/shahid-buttar-campaign-allegations/
4https://medium.com/@elizabethcroydon/shahid-buttar-repeatedly-sexually-harassed-me-1a23f22924dd
https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html
5https://twitter.com/ShahidForChange/status/1285719481541591042
6https://twitter.com/ShahidForChange/status/1243697868927406080